Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Justifiable Homicide?

To my faithful readers, I am sorry I've been gone so long. First, I was sick and upon recovery, discovered to my horror it was the Christmas season. Yes, I am one of those bah-humbug type people. I am trying very hard this year to be positive, and to enjoy the season, to give the kids good memories instead of a grumpy mom, who, already overwhelmed, now has to SHOP on top it.

So, armed with a new attitude, I went to the local, small toy store. It is an upscale shop, carrying more educational and high quality toys such as wooden train sets and cute puppets and the like. I was proud of myself for having made two selections, my first purchases of the year, and made my way to the counter. Timewise, I was doing okay, but needed to get back to pick up dd#1 from her piano lesson. In front of me, another customer chatted with the store clerk, clearly not in any hurry. She had found everything she needed except the adorable little porcupine puppet (who'd want a porcupine puppet??) that she'd bought here before.

"Oh, wait," said the clerk. "There may be one in the back." She disappeared before I could say a word, and I stood holding my items and looking at my watch.

The customer then turned to me and said in a syrupy voice, "Oh, I do hope she has it, because then I'll be all done with my Christmas shopping." I fantasized about yanking her hair, wondering if it would be considered assault. I gave her an insincere smile and said nothing. I not only wasn't finished with my shopping, I had barely begun.

The clerk returned with the blasted puppet, and started ringing up the purchases, all small items. They were small, the woman explained, because her entire family was going on a Carribean cruise for Christmas and they couldn't take large gifts. I contemplated murder, but wasn't sure I could prove justifiable homicide. Would the judge understand that I'd been pushed to the edge?

After she left, the clerk rang up my order, and through my gritted teeth, I had to tell her that she'd added it up wrongly, and I instead owed her $7 more than she thought. I barely made it back in time to pick up dd#1 but at least I escaped jail time.

3 comments:

jar said...

A porcupine puppet? I cannot picture the joyous face of the child who receives that but I would like to see how they play with it. Statements like "Come near me and I'll get you with my quills" come to mind.

pita-woman said...

I think it would be totally justifiable, if only for holding up the line gabbing with the clerk!

FatcatPaulanne said...

I'll join you in a hearty "bah! Humbug! I have been having problems with things I want getting sold out all over town and all over the internet so I'm not having a fun shopping time!

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