Thursday, December 27, 2007

Sunday, December 23, 2007

Super-Size Me

Dh and I opened our gifts to each other Friday night. I'd really wanted to also get him a hoodie from the university where he went to grad school, but at StuffMart, they only had 2x and 3x.
"I guess that's a statement about our town," I lamented.
"And that was only the women's sizes!" dh replied.

Friday, December 21, 2007

Need for Speed

Hey, people at StuffMart! If you were going any slower you'd be going backwards! Just had to get that off my chest. Thank you.

Just Needing ONE Shot.....

Some people cheat - they use a photo they took sometime during the year, not a Christmas photo they took which is on the list of 5001 things to do before Christmas Eve. Perhaps, next year, I will join them. We're taking a vote on which picture to use for our Christmas card. Vote soon! There's only two days left for one hour photo!












Thursday, December 20, 2007

Run, Run, As Fast as You Can.....

I saw a gingerbread man cookie kit the other day at StuffMart. I thought, " that is really lame". I mean, you can make gingerbread so easily. Then, the little devil on my left shoulder slapped me upside the head and said, "Stupid. Don't you remember this?"

This year, I did try making the gingerbread cookies, and after dh broke off a canine, we decided to try soaking them in milk first and they're somewhat edible after that. Maybe I'll get one of those kits after all.

Science News

There's a whole lot of news this week about holes. Black holes, to be specific, are spewing out radiation and messing up whole galaxies some bazillion light years from here. Scientists are studying it likely so that maybe someday, should it happen to Earth, they'll know what to do. News flash guys, Earth will be a dessicated dust bunny by then if we don't solve the problems on our own planet. Let's use those scientists closer to home, shall we?

And by the way, if you don't take my advice, please look for the black hole nearer home (and you know who you are) that is sucking up my scissors, tape measures, rulers, working pens, stapler, finger nail clippers, tweezers, the digital thermometer, and the cordless phone. That can be the only explanation for the disappearance of these items.

And while I'm at it, can you explain to me why they can pinpoint all kinds of astrological bodies so far away they can't be seen, but if you use an Expedia or Mapquest to get driving directions for a place 15 minutes away, you end up in the wrong state?

I've Been Good

This would be the best Christmas present ever, though I'd add one modification - a vacuum underneath so that you can vacuum as you go. I'm ever Suzy Homemaker you know. Santa's probably already loaded the sleigh so I'll save this for next year's list. Thank you to Chris for the tip.

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Just Call Me "Rumple" for Short

Once upon a time, there was a poor card production director (doesn't have the same ring as "miller", does it?) who had two beautiful daughters. The daughters had two horses that ate like, well, horses. After a severe drought, all the hay in the kingdom had disappeared and their pile of hay grew smaller and smaller. The girls wept with worry about their horses. The winter loomed long and cold before them, and nearly all the grass was gone.

Now, their father was married to their mother (a very strange occurrence in these times and in fairy tales in general. Generally, the mother is dead in these stories.) The mother thought long and hard, and told the girls that she would go to town to the spinning wheel in the wall, where one can turn gold into straw (or hay in this case). They all piled into their old pickup chariot, and went to town, where after inputting the password "Rumpelstiltskin" the wheels spun and out came "gold" that the father, locked in his cubicle, worked night and day to produce.

Gold in her hand, the mother thought briefly of vacations in the Caribbean or Napa Valley, but the moment passed and she took the gold to the only man in the village who had a pile of hay left. There, she gave over the treasure and piled the hay into the back of the truck. The beautiful daughters smiled, knowing that the horses will be warm and happy all winter. The end.

How to Totally Embarrass a Teenager


When she is nine, you buy a horse trailer that is "cute" (for a nine year old).
When she is sixteen, she often hears at competitions
"Oh, yeah. You're the one with the clown trailer."

You drive around with a ginormous loaf of hay in the back of your old pickup,
making sure her friends see her.


Then, you post photos on the Internet of said teens
pushing said hay bale from the truck. Personally, I like the teamwork.



Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Proof He's Growing Up

Notice the adult tooth already coming in next to the new hole left by the tooth lost this week. What does Wm notice? "Look how big my nose is!"

Proof he's all boy: have your photo taken with a meatball in your mouth
and laugh about it for half an hour.


Blog Anniversary

On NPR (radio), I heard that yesteday was the 10th anniversary of the invention of the Blog. Ten years ago, the term "WebLog" was coined, and there were just a few of them. "Weblog" morphed into "Blog" and now, over 120,000 of them are started each day. The guy on the radio said, however, there was no way to know how many of them are actually read. Ouch!

Writer Elizabeth Spiers wrote: "I don't know why anyone reads blogs," the editor in chief of a large magazine once said to me. "It's like listening to the crazy guy on the subway rant." Hey, we crazy people need a place to rant, okay? Spiers goes on to say:

it's possible to create commercially viable media products for niche audiences. Even more important for traditional media, blogs are an inexpensive way to test new editorial concepts with an engaged audience whose behavior and preferences are more directly measurable than in any other medium. This alone should be of interest to any pragmatic editor.

See? See, mean editor? I have several readers. Okay, two, but I'm working on it. You see, I miss blogging a day here and there when I'm doing important things like, oh, feeding my family and scolding the dog for peeing on the floor.

This month is an anniversary of sorts for me as well - two years of blogging. I have thoughts now and again about redesigning it, maybe finding a closet where I can hide while I write. It'll have to wait until after Christmas. I'm in full procrastinator mode right now!! Give me more coffee! Each day, I look anxiously up the driveway, waiting for the UPS man and those last minute promises of "it's not too late to order!!" Next year, I'll start earlier. Wait a minute, it is next year.

Update: PITA Woman is entirely correct in her comment. It has been three years now that I've blogged. Time passes quickly when you're full of hot air.

Farm Notes
Hay will be like gold this winter. My hay supplier promised to keep some round bales for me, but he won't sell us the square bales since we did put up a supply of it. He plans to sell out for more money per bale. Can't say as I blame him.

Thursday, December 13, 2007

Dreaming of Summer


Would someone please inform my son that winter is here to stay awhile? That snow is on the way? William refuses to acknowledge the change in temperature, and runs around in shorts. Little old ladies scowl at me because he refuses to wear a coat. What kind of mother am I?

I told dh that we'd just have to move to a warmer climate (no ulterior motive on my part of course). Dh replied that moving south would be good, so that Wm could get a job on a shrimp boat, since he'll never be able to have a job where clothes must be worn. I'll get the cocktail sauce.

Farm notes:
Quid, Lauren's POA (Pony of the Americas) had her shoes pulled today. We tried a new farrier for her, and he was very patient. Quid stood quite still. We'll let her go barefoot for now.

Yesterday, upon returning home from shopping, we saw a well-antlered buck standing in the yard under the light post. He was not at all afraid of us, but finally jumped the fence after we'd stared for several minutes. I wanted to tell him to stay; he's safe in my yard.

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Overachievers

A neighbor within viewing distance of our house has a Christmas display which can only be meant to shame the rest of us heathens that haven't properly decorated for Christmas. A twelve foot Frosty is lit up at night and gazing at an equally gianormous Santa. Curiously, it's the home of an elderly couple, so it would be "cute" that they decorated together if I weren't so caught up in my lack of decorations.

Perhaps this feeling is reinforced by another neighbor whose house could be used as a landmark to guide jets on their way to the airport. Granted, the guy is a landscaper and really into how his yard looks. He's one of those guys with the pristine yard and a garage where you could eat off the floor. Dh has said that a too clean garage and perfectly manicured yard is the sign of a man who doesn't want to be inside the house with his wife.

Farm Notes:
Mud. That about says it all.

Monday, December 10, 2007

Christmas Spirit

See how cheerful dh and I are trying to be?

It Could Be Worse

I'm trying, really trying, to keep moving and not feel stressed during this Christmas season. It's a stretch for someone that goes around wondering why people are staring before I remember that I've not brushed my hair yet today and it's sticking up like I've been licked by a reindeer. Still, I've maintained my cool, and even went to a few holiday activities.

William is on hyperdrive, constantly asking questions and wanting "someone to play with me". When I replied that I had a lot to do for Christmas, he responded in a way that shows he'll grow up to be a normal male: "What is there to do? Santa does everything." He'll be in time-out for about a week.

This morning, I got to test my old engineering trouble-shooting skills in tracking down a water leak inside the house that flooded the garage and the closet where I hide all the Christmas presents. Luckily, I'm such a procrastinator, there wasn't much in there. See? That's a positive!

And, it could be worse. I could:

Okay, okay, the last one I may already be.

Monday, December 03, 2007

Sisters

A friend and enemy all rolled into one person. How perfectly economical.

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Saturday, December 01, 2007

"I can do it myself."

He gave it a good try.

....but was man enough to know he needed help.

Farm Notes:

I cannot explain it, but had a premonition yesterday morning that something was wrong with the horses. I looked out of the windows twice before finding that the neighbor's recently gelded male horse jumped the fence at the property line to visit with the hussy horse aka "Ginny". He ripped the vinyl off of her winter blanket, leaving her to run about in white fleece with the green vinyl trailing behind her. I called the neighbor who retrieved the horse. I am beginning to keep records of the horse's misdeeds for future reference.

After a full day yesterday, I couldn't go to bed knowing it was going to be 22 degrees that night. The little white hen wasn't yet allowed to sleep with the two black ones, and might freeze. I knew I'd lay awake thinking about it. My daughter admonished me for worrying about chickens late at night. Still, I snuck out after she went to bed and hooked up the heat lamp. I slept well.

Today, dh and I took the family to get the Christmas tree, got 3 loads of hay, and worked on the fence that the neighbor's horses are leaning on. Joe, the hay guy, says we need to figure out if we have enough until next July, as he's sure to sell out. Doesn't he know that I figure out what to have for dinner about an hour before it's time to cook it? And I have to plan to next July???

Friday, November 30, 2007

Ho, Ho, Ho


Old enough to confidently climb on Santa's lap, and young enough to still believe in magic.
What a perfect age.

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Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Diet Plan

As soon as I saw the plastic freezer bag and the recipe attached, I moaned. I remember the summer both dh and I gained 5 pounds each from such a bag. You might as well fill it with lard and hang it directly from my belt loops. Evidently, someone at dh's work subscribe to the diet plan of making other people fat, so that one looks good by comparison.

If you have any friends at all, at some point in your life you will be "gifted" with an Amish Bread Starter. In my case, I might call it a curse, for the sourdough starter becomes a living thing (sometimes named) that cannot be let to die. It grows and multiplies, and people start crossing the street when they see you coming with a similar bag of goo. Feeling sorry for the living baggie of goo, it becomes a mission to find homes for them, holding them aloft at meetings and shouting out an invitation to join the growing ranks of the growing ranks.

Similarly, we've recently received a gift of Sea Monkeys which Wm declares is a "good pet". A very sensitive child, he is not going to allow a burial at "sea" aka toilet, when the SM food runs out. I am faced with ordering new food for critters that make my skin crawl. Aren't those the things in creeks that make you wish you hadn't drunk creek water?

Still, a gift is a gift. Dh loves Amish Sourdough Bread, though I question the title and suggest Amish Pound Cake. Perhaps the Amish, ploughing digging up their fields with a trowel can eat a loaf with a whole cup of oil in it. I'll let you know how it turns out.

Farm Notes
One Arucana chicken has begun laying again. For all my efforts and $8 in feed a month, I get about 25 eggs. I'm running a nursing home for chickens.

Today it should be warm, and I need to get the heat lamps put up for the chickens. I hate the cold.

The heated buckets are installed in the barn - the best horse invention after the stirrup. Beats the heck out of fronzen water buckets when it's 2 below. Did I mention I hate cold?

Sunday, November 25, 2007

I Don't Think He "Gets" It

Today at Church, we stopped by the Jesse tree to pick a paper ornament on which was written the name of an underprivileged child and the present desired for that child. I deliberately chose a boy child around William's age as a possible lesson in how blessed we are.

When we returned home, I told him that the ornament told me what the child had asked for - socks and underwear. This child, I explained, didn't have all we have and has just asked to have new socks and underwear for Christmas. William looked up at me and in his sweet voice, declared, "Well, I have LOTS of socks and underwear so I don't need that and can ask for a Drivemax Megazord."

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Not Your Mother's Little Black Dress

Years back, I bought a wine-coloured velvet dress from Victoria's Secret. It was, believe it or not, modest, long-sleeved, and though meant to be very short, hit my stubby legs just right. That dress disappeared into dd's closet a Christmas or two ago. Thinking maybe they might have another like it, I went onto their website to browse last night looking for me and dd for Christmas gatherings.

Let's just say that styles have um, progressed (or is that digressed?) and dd will not be getting a VS dress. Besides, it has to be harmful to contort one's breasts to pop up over the neckline in such an obvious display. Still, I was fascinated with one feature: you can click on the color swatches and change the color of the dress. I thought that was fun.

Dh, arriving home from work looked over my shoulder. "They forgot one button," he said. "They need one with no dress at all." And, I don't think he was trying to gauge the success of that particular style of dress on the model.

Later, I thanked him for fodder for my blog. He said that the whole website erroneously assumed that he was even looking at the dress.

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Extra Protein

All families have food disaster stories. In fact, when Chris invited her readers to blog about food disasters, it took all day for me to Rolodex through the stories to select the perfect one. Should I blog about the time I used a new Cajun pepper spice on chicken and the kids said it was too spicy? I insisted that they at least try one bite, which one daughter did and then promptly threw up. This is now know as the "Gunpowder Chicken Episode" for that is what dh said it tasted like. Definitely, I will not live that one down for a while.

Yes, that was bad, but only mentioning home-grown broccoli will make stomach roll and cause my daughters to start retching a little bit. Last year, I still nursed the delusion that I could actually homeschool, take care of five acres and a house, and still garden. To my credit, I grew a beautiful crop of broccoli. Now, my family loves broccoli, I kid you not, which is why I grew a great amount of it. Even at a very early age, my toddlers would eat it. So, one evening, I ran out to the garden, cut a few heads, and stuck them in the sink to rinse off.

Likely, I was multi-tasking, making dinner, talking on the phone, keeping a young one busy underfoot, I didn't examine the produce closely. In fact, I didn't know I had to examine it closely. I cut it into pieces, popped it into a lidded bowl with a little water, and put it in the microwave. Proudly, I put the fruit (or vegetable in this case) of my labor on the table.

Everyone dug in, until dh suddenly pulled the piece of broccoli from his mouth. Something tasted strange and he examined his remaining broccoli closely. It was then he discovered the yellow caterpillars, now fully cooked, clinging to the branches of the broccoli. Announcing his find resulted in my daughters retching the contents of their mouths and very nearly, their stomachs, into their hands. The caterpillars, we discovered, were green on the uncooked broccoli, but bright yellow when cooked. They had blended so well uncooked, I'd missed them.
This year, I didn't grow broccoli as likely no one would have eaten it anyway. Wonder why?

Addendum:
Dh, upon reading this, would like to add that there weren't just a few caterpillars, the broccoli was saturated with them.

Dd#1 would like you to know that they were fat and juicy and very gross.

'Tis the Season

I had to laugh at TC's blog, because it's so true. Here, two days before Thanksgiving, I just now thinking about going to the grocery. For people like me, living on the edge (of chaos), seeing Christmas decorations before Thanksgiving is just like rubbing it in my face. It screams "na-na-na-boo-boo it's Christmas soon and you're not even ready". In reading her blog about the retailers getting ready for Valentine's Day and Easter, I could not help but wonder if the world could maybe come out right when we "lap" ourselves in holiday preparations?

Monday, November 19, 2007

For the Man Who Has Everything


My dh is an introvert. Not in the common English use of the word, as in "hermit" but in the way he thinks. Me, I think out loud. Heck, I blog out loud. Dh, on the other hand, mulls questions over in his brain, turning it this way and that, taking his time while formulating the correct response (when we all know that all he needs to say is "yes, dear" and "but of course you are right!")

While he's thinking and eating his morning cereal, I'm left wondering if he's even heard me. He continues munching, looking down in his cereal bowl for the next bite. "Well???" I ask.

"I'm thinking," he responds.

I wish there was some sign, some way to know that he heard me and is thinking. I envision an little electronic screen implant for an introvert's head hard wired into their brain. When they are "thinking" it will show a little hour glass like my computer does.

Friday, November 16, 2007

StuffMart Can Stuff It

They did it again! Again, I've stood in line to check out for an inordinate amount of time. Too many items to do it myself, I looked down a half-mile row of check out lanes and saw only three open. I waited and waited, and all was not in vain until I got home and found my lunch meat missing. This isn't the first time. WHERE IS MY LUNCHMEAT???

I envision the cashier having it for lunch in the breakroom. Maybe she stole a loaf of bread from the next customer, they had a feast. On the other hand, though I've searched the van, foul smells of decayed meat could greet me in the coming week if I missed it somehow.

The old woman behind me made the long line excrutiating as she doddered on about avoiding items manufactured in China and how this line will get worse come Christmas time. I'd just come in for two avocados. I spent $106.

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Think She Kept Her Job?

Photo of cake ordered from StuffMart. Thanks to Christine, who forwarded to me, for the laugh. I needed that.

Death by Chaos

We're expecting company in the next week - three separate visits. Most people that live nearby know we have a "farm" house and it looks it. They know that sometimes it's clean, sometimes there is chicken crap on the steps when someone forgot to remove their shoes. Sometimes, a recital takes precedence over cleaning off the counters. The guests, however, only come once in a great while, and a short visit can leave a lasting impression with no follow up visits to redeem oneself.

I find myself stashing items in my office closet and wondering if they were to open this closet, and be knocked on the head and they died, would it be manslaughter or murder? It was premeditated - I meant to hide my total lack of organization. And yes, I DO know about Flylady and have about 1000 unread messages from her in my inbox.

So what am I doing blogging? A person has to take a break sometimes!

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Typical Male

Yesterday, my son was given the opportunity to ride along with me to drive one sister to art lessons. Another sister was to remain home. He generally chooses to stick to me like white on rice, but this time, I was surprised to hear, "No, I'll stay home. You'll just talk the whole way there and back anyway".

Farm Notes
I recently found someone who'd love to have the white silkie pair of chickens that I have. I was happy to know that they could remain together. Yesterday, I found the rooster dead in the hutch. No apparent cause of death and a necropsy is not planned. Funeral arrangements to be made by Rumpke.

Tell me, what, what, possesses a man (or woman for that matter, I'm in Kentucky after all) to chew tobacco?? A man stopped by unannounced yesterday to inquire about the builder of our barn. This has happened before, and I was happy to show him around. That is, until he began periodically spitting, spitting, in my barn. I about lost my cookies. Granted the barn has a limestone base and bedding to collect waste, but there is something inherently disgusting about tobacco juice. Just writing this makes me throw up a little in my mouth.

What woman would kiss such a man, sucking and dripping brown saliva from his mouth? Ugh. And what does one do when someone begins to spit all over your property? I can do one better though. I am no priss, I'll have you know. Often, my girls and I wear Eau de Cheval. Unlike Chris, horse manure and even horse urine does not bother me. When our horse chiropractor, however, declared he'd leave after "using one of our stalls", I about had a tizzy. I offered the use of my bathroom, but he just smiled with his two teeth while crushing his cigarette into the driveway, and politely declined before spitting and heading into the barn. There was nothing to do but go to the house.

Monday, November 12, 2007

What is Success?

The plain fact is that the planet does not need more "successful" people. But it does desperately need more peacemakers, healers, restorers, storytellers, and lovers of every shape and form. It needs people who live well in their places. It needs people of moral courage willing to join the fight to make the world habitable and humane. And these needs have little to do with success as our culture has defined it. - David Orr

read more

Do You Think They'll Notice...?




"Do you think they'll notice I'm like, really short?
I'm brave - I can hang with the big boys...."





"Oh, nooooo! They're looking at me! Mom? Where are you mom?"


"Help! Mom! The mean one is after me!"




"Safe at last. Thank goodness for moms! (And electric fences.)"

Disclaimer: No horses were harmed in the filming of this event. Lauren will have you know that her horse is not mean and was just teaching the baby her manners.


Rach' On

Lauren
November 11th Piano Recital
University of Louisville
Comstock Hall
Rachmaninoff's Prelude in C# Minor Opus 3 No. 2

Saturday, November 10, 2007

My Angel

While reading an illustrated version of the Littlest Angel, William asked about the yellow circle drawn around the angel boy's head. I explained that a halo was used to show that the angel was holy and an angel. As we continued reading, he noticed that on a few pages the halo had slipped and was now sitting crookedly and uncomfortably on the poor angel's head.

"I wouldn't want to have to wear one of those things," William said.
"Oh, well son, that shouldn't be a concern," I said laughing.

Monday, November 05, 2007

The Flying Colors

The girls had a spectacular weekend riding Mounted Games
at the Kentucky Horse Park. Lauren is third and Anna, fifth, from the left.

Friday, November 02, 2007

They Sell Dogs?


I was slightly started when the cashier at Stuffmart handed me a bag, saying, "Here's your Pomeranian". You've got to just love Kentucky. It's pomegranate, not Pomeranian, season.

My Portrait by William

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Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Trapped

Winter is coming soon, or so the mice think as they have begun moving indoors - my indoors. I realize the irony that I will try to save any living thing, (and in fact once raised rodents - hamsters) but I regularly trap and kill mice. I show no mercy. I showed the fat one I caught last night to Lazarus to motivate him. Quite a good mouser when the mood strikes him, he growled and hissed at the dead critter.

We live in an older house near the woods, with easy access. The mice must consider us their winter home, their Florida trailer park. (Do they call themselves Snowbirds?) We were alerted to the situation when Lauren began dancing around in the kitchen after a mouse ran out of the spaghetti box, over her hand and ran across the floor. Three dogs and a cat gave chase, while I directed them as to which way to go and yelled, "Get it! Get it!" The cat and Daisy injured it to the point I was able to get it by the tail and put it outside with the cat who I'd hoped would finish the poor thing off. Later, all the dogs spent some time sniffing and pawing at the base of the wood box, so I fear that it must have escaped to be killed another day.

Soon after, a mouse jumped out of our pantry onto my shoulder, ran down me onto the floor. Okay, I thought, this is war. I reorganized the kitchen (putting dry things in a less accessible cabinet) and began laying traps. I've caught several already. I dispose of their bodies in secret so that I don't have to play 20 questions with William about his mother, the mouse serial killer.

Farm Notes:
Roxie, the foal, loves to groom Lazarus the cat.
Roxie and Quid (Lauren's horse) have a bazillion ticks (ew!). They are little tiny ones, and difficult to locate in Roxie's fuzz. No wonder she's always itchy. I thought we were past this time besides the fact that I've never found ticks on our horses before.
Had Jorgen (Gotland pony) adjusted by the chiropractor yesterday. He needs it twice a year at least, having had some major unknown injury prior to our purchase of him. His back and jaw go out and he is visibly quite sore. After treatment, he ran up the hill, tossing his head, obviously feeling his studly self again. The chiropractor visit itself is another whole blog. Later.

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

THAT!

"Porkchop" (self-nicknamed) came into the Church thrift store today. A stocky black man, he's a bit disconcerting when he talks to himself. Today, he was loudly repeating "THAT!" for no apparent reason. He's a minor celebrity in our town, but he's no Otis Campbell of Mayberry fame. There was no concensus by residents in interviews for our local paper as to whether Porkchop is mentally retarded, mentally ill, or just plain different, but I don't believe he's the town drunk. There is also no concensus as to whether Porkchop is harmless or no.

Mostly, you'll see Porkchop on the streetcorners in our town, lifting a hand to wave at passers-by and sometimes shouting out to them. He stands talking to people that walk by. Sometimes, people will call howdy to him. I don't think I've ever seen him without his signature white hard hat, but the other day, I saw him with a gold one. Today, he was hatless, his bald head shining over the t-shirt table. I asked him where his hat was.

"Oh, I'm working today," he claimed. At what I know not, for to my knowledge he has no job except unpaid town greeter.

I asked about the gold hat. Oh, he told me, that was his special hat and that hat meant he had something good going on that day. I retreated to the back of the store to sort more clothing donations, when I heard a ruckus up front at the cash register. Porkchop had only fifteen cents, though he had items that cost more. Chuck, my co-volunteer, challenged him a little, but let him go, saying he'd catch Porkchop next week.

Our small town has it's small town mentality but I've often over these past twelve years been warmed by the genuine affection shown to people here that are a little different. It's nice to have someone acknowledge your wave as you drive by.

Monday, October 29, 2007

Spiderman


Longevity

An article in National Geographic focused on the secrets to a long and healthy life. The gist of the article was that to live longer, we must exercise (WHEN?) and avoid meat, wine or any kind of alcohol, sugar, and caffeine (meaning chocolate, too). Doing so will help you to live an additional 4 to 10 years.

Now, in between bites of her tofu salad, the 112 year old described the highlight of her days as when she takes a nap. I don't know about you, but if giving up all of the above results in sitting for a decade in a nursing home, waiting for a diaper change and my nap, I'd rather have my filet mignon, wouldn't you? Who wants to live to be 112, I ask you? Maybe 100. So I'll assume that my lifespan is 100 years, and that by eating meat, drinking a glass of wine now and again, and eating gobs of chocolate, I'm giving up that last 12 years. I think it's a bargain.

Monday, October 22, 2007

Boys

Yesterday, Wm. came downstairs in the morning and declared, "I dressed myself!" and climbed into my lap. Still sleepy, he gave me a long hug, said "I love you" and looked up with a beautiful smile and his big eyes - and farted. Then, laughed. Boys.

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Rain!

Yesterday, some stuff fell out of the sky. Rumor has it that it was rain. I haven't seen it in so long I wasn't sure. This is my favorite time of year. It is beautiful in color, cool but not cold, and great outside weather. It's hard to get going in the morning, though, as I would love to just like in bed with the windows open and listen to the birds and feel the breeze.

Farm Notes:
The white silkie chicken sat on her eggs to the end. Not one of five of them hatched. Her mate sat with her the whole time, practically on top of her. I feel sorry for them.

We've "flipped" the horses, meaning flipped their schedule. They are in the barn at night now, and out during the day. Their coats indicate that winter is coming whether I want it to or not.

Monday, October 15, 2007

Walk Like a Man

Photo: Wm and Daddy working on the front flower bed. They removed the ink berry plants that masqueraded as landscaping. (I'll not be getting any awards from Better Homes and Gardens this year.) Note: the red adult-sized snow gloves.

Today, Wm and I took a pickup truck load of stuff to the dump. When we got there, he got out his gloves and said, "Now, we're going to get dirty like a man!" The 1970s feminist in me bristled. "Mommy gets dirty, too!" I exclaimed, thinking that I was protesting something that most women would deny ever happens to them. Still, it seemed the hightlight of his day to visit the dump. He was chucking wood out of the pickup with pure joy. Keeping him physically active is a constant challenge.

Today's activities on the farm: went to the dump, did laundry, dishes, floor, cleaned bathroom, fed chickens, groomed horses, went to the hardware store for a socket wrench to demolish the pool, watered the pasture with newly aquired sprinklers, hooked up trailer and hauled two horses to riding lessons, unhooked trailer and drove to get a round bale of hay. Returned to put round bale in the pasture, unloading it by driving off really fast (Lauren claims this is the "hillbilly way" but it worked) and then returned to pick up trailer and horses. Returned home to off-load horses and make dinner. Drank some wine. Now, time to read to Wm and go to bed.

Just so you know how our family works:
Lauren noticed that dh had a hole in his jeans and declared, "Dad, you have a hole in your butt." We all spent the next half hour laughing because as we all know, everyone does.

Burning Time

When you should be studying or paying bills or doing the dishes, instead you can burn time staring at this dancer who is making the email rounds. I saw it only clockwise, and thought the description fit me well. Dh, however, is definitely more left-brained, and also only saw her dance clockwise which gives me one data point discounting the scientific accuracy of this test. Lauren taught me to reverse her by staring at her foot on the ground.

Sunday, October 14, 2007

Taking Down Memories

As I worked on removing the vinyl liner and some of the decking around the pool today, I paused as a wave of sadness came over me. I thought of all the friends that have sat around its edge. I thought of hot summer nights of squealing kids swimming with the daddy. All three of my kids learned to swim in the pool. Now, it lays with it's age showing, a shell of its former self.

William, only five, won't likely remember this pool, won't remember the summers we spent near it. It was a good pool.

Not Good Enough

Last week, the girls were slated to take the CLEP (College Level Examination Program) Test to get college credit for Freshman English. Like a very poor role model, I left some details to the morning of the test, including stopping at the bank on the way to the test to retrieve the girls' passports kept in the lock box. To take the test, you are required to have a photo ID.

Again, showing my superb organizational skills, I was brought up short by a dark bank with a sign declaring it closed for Columbus Day. Just great! I don't really understand the connection between Columbus and bank holidays, but this really threw a monkey wrench in the morning.

Returning home, I called the testing center which adamantly refused to budge on their rule that test takers must present a valid, government-issued, photo i.d. Lauren had her learning permit for driving, but Anna had no other i.d.

I can tell you the exact hour of the day of the week she was born, in what hospital and the doctor that delivered her. I can tell you that I was the first human to touch her head. I could show records charting her growth, tell you what her favorite foods are, and how she has little freckles on her nose. I can tell you her clothes size, her shoe size and that she prefers long tunics to short tops. But that, that isn't good enough.

Instead, I could take a valid birth certificate (which has no photo, so could be anyone's birth certificate) to the courthouse, get her photo taken and that government employee could issue a photo i.d. swearing that the person in the photo has the name on the card. But the mother of the child? No, that's not good enough for identification purposes.

Anna was rather relieved, wanting to take the test at a later date anyway. She smiled as I told her that they'd let Lauren, but not her, take the test. Myself, I will not wait next time until test day to have all my details covered.

P.S. Lauren passed, and now has 6 hours college credit!

Thursday, October 11, 2007

Blogging on Blogging

Every now and again, I go a couple of days without blogging. It begins to feel okay to not blog, since I have so many other useful activities to fill the time, like eating and paying bills. I'll get to thinking I'll not write anymore, and see what it feels like. Just about the time I'm thinking I'll quit this nasty habit, someone will mention how an entry made them laugh or how they feel it keeps me more in touch with them. It's hard to resist. Ego is such a small word for such a big emotion.

If ever I think I could become a serious, money making blogger (yes there is such a thing), I visit Notes from the Trenches, who gets as many comments in a day as I get people just reading. That knocks me down a notch. I can see her photos are a little better than mine (okay a lot better) which I suppose would be helped with a digital that you can actually see what you are shooting (my screen is now broken).

Adsense by Google (see ads in the margin) will not be making me rich, despite my grand illusions. In the almost three years I've blogged, I've earned almost $70. I say "earned" though I've not seen a penny. They pay based on the number of clicks on the ads, but only after you achieve $100. At this rate, I only have a little over a year to go and I'll make that $100. Wonder what that works out to per hour?

Perhaps I should count my riches in the number of people that I call friends who I've made smile a time or two.

Future Pilots?


Boys at the controls during a tour of a regional airport.


Girls take a turn.




There was a time when a good looking guy turned my head. Now that I have the most good looking guy all married to me, the sight of a good looking guy has my mind calculating.

Mmmmm....6'4". Too tall for Lauren. Born in 1983. Mmmmm.....too old for Anna. Oh, well. Maybe - hanging around getting one's pilot's license is an interesting way to meet well-heeled guys though, eh? Oh, the shameless mamma. I guess this wasn't supposed to be the purpose of this field trip.

A Sign of My Times

Dh and I were laughing the other day that when a woman is younger, she looks at the other women at a gathering and thinks, "Boy, I looked as good as anyone there." But as we age, the conversation turns more to, "Boy, at least I don't look any worse than anyone there."

Sunday, October 07, 2007

Boys Need to Do

I let him go up and down the ladder to deliver supplies. Of course, he would not be satisfied until he actually sat on the roof of the shed dh was reroofing. That lasted 5 minutes until he said, "I'm bored!" That experience tackled, he climbed down the ladder and declared he was going to the garage to get another hammer, as he needed to practice his hammering.







So two hammers rang out yesterday, both accomplishing important work.

Saturday, October 06, 2007

HOT!

Dh says I smell good - I've been working on removing stickers from the horse trailer. I now have a new perfume: Eau de Goo Be Gone. Must be a man thing.

We put up 120 bales of hay this morning. The woman who came with my "hay man" and is his daughter, threw the bales up three high faster than dh and I could stack. "Slow down and let them catch up!" Joe hollered to her.

"I'm almost half-way to fifty," she joked, boasting at her strength and ability, and I guess denigrating ours. She must have thought we were younger than we are, which I guess is a good thing. But a 47 yr old, and a short one at that (I'm half her size) can't sling hay bales like a long shoreman. I'm going to be sore tonight!

Had two horses trimmed. We couldn't even pull the shoes off of Quid, Lauren's horse, because of her terror of the farrier. She even had a sedative. We're going to have to tranquilize her. We're headed now to visit Ginny, who is at a local barn for training.

Friday, October 05, 2007

The Missing Link

Perhaps I'll find that it's a pack rat. Yes, that's it - somewhere in my house there is a hole in the wall where this rat lives. In there, he has every pair of scissors that I own, several rolls of transparent tape, my tweezers, about 20 fingernail clippers, all my permanent markers, rulers, the stapler, and added just this week, my potato peeler. Now, tell me, why would this pack rat want a potato peeler?

Unless....No, it couldn't be that a little boy would think that the potato peeler was perfect for peeling the bark off of twigs. Nah. It has to be a pack rat.
Update: If you find the pack rat's hole, could you ask him to return my potato masher, please? I need it to make applesauce.

Bought $40 worth of apples today. Big kids pick fast. I guess I'd better get preserving, squishing, drying apples, or eat a lot.
Photo by Christine
BTW, look at this face. Are they sure it was Eve that did the tempting?

Martyr?

Ever get "forward"that everyone you know sends to you? The latest in my inbox is the email about the Invisible Woman (link to excerpt) that is from a book by Nicole Johnson. In it, the writer laments that she is often invisible to her family, working diligently to mother and care for them, not immediately seeing the results. She bolsters her self-esteem by comparing her job to the building of a cathedral:

No one can say who built the great cathedrals - we have no record of their names.
These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished.
They made great sacrifices and expected no credit.
The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything.


I loved this part, identifying with having faith that I am making good choices for my family even though I won't see the end result for years to come. (Truthfully, though, I see a good deal of results right now.)

Because it was forwarded to me without credit to the author, I did a quick Google and found her name right away. I clicked on several links to see that some bloggers have put the whole excerpt on their blogs without given credit. (Can you spell plagiarism?) Anyway, in my clicking I ran across a group called Alt Support Childfree, a group of people that consciously choose not to have children. I was completely taken aback by the angry and mean tone. Still am. I looked past that though and tried to listen to the message and found some truth in it.

This author becomes a martyr in her words and actions. She has become invisible to her family only because she's allowed this to be. We've all made choices, and we must stand up to those choices. I'm not saying that being a stay-at-home mom isn't hard, that sacrifices aren't made and willingly. It is likely the hardest job in the world. I'm saying that if we are invisible, if we feel we are not being heard, we need to voice that to our families or make other choices - find other outlets. I will say that I do get this martyr feeling once a month, however, but I recognize it for what it is.

I make no apologies for staying home and building my cathedral. It will be very beautiful.

Farm Notes
We are off to pick apples today at a local u-pick-it. William says, "MOM, when are we going to go already?" so I've not proofed the above very well. Please be kind to me.

Thursday, October 04, 2007

Why?

If you have a young child, you probably hear the word "why" more often than a person ought. "Why" challenges my knowledge of the world and stretches my memory to it's limits. Maybe that is why I continue to read a lot and learn - trying to keep up. For example, I bet there's not a mother among us that has not been asked why do men have nipples too? They obviously don't need them. Up until now, I have given the answer that God put them there for decoration. I've got a better answer today!

I've been reading Raising Boys: Why Boys Are Different-And How to Help Them Become Happy and Well-Balanced Men, and in Chapter 3, it says:

It may surprise you to know that all young creatures start life being female. The Y chromosome that makes a baby into a boy is an 'add on' chromosome that starts to act in the womb, to give a boy the extra bits he needs to be a boy and to stop other bits growing. A male is a female with optional extras. That's why everyone has nipples, though not everyone needs them.

Well, that solves that mystery of life!

Farm Notes
I've not even been outside yet.
The chicken coop has been moved, but I need to clean it.
The stud next door was gelded about a month ago, and at night, we hear squeals and donkey-like brays as he and Jorgen determine who's boss.
I need to measure the roof of the shed - it needs new shingles.
The pool, now defunct and empty, is collecting acorns and leaves. I need to dismantle it soon. I look at the decking on the pool and think of building a clubhouse for Wm. Think. Not do.
The days are alarmingly short.

Wednesday, October 03, 2007

Down the Road


Agape

Once a week, I volunteer two hours at a thrift store run by my Church. For two hours, I unpack clothes, refold them, hang them up, arrange knicknacks on shelves, throw out less desirable donations and straighten the shelves. Each week, I look forward to going. I am often asked why I do this, why would I work for free?

There are many answers, but the most telling would be that my time there puts me in touch with part of my community that I might not otherwise get to know. I've come to be comfortable with a large black man always wearing a construction helmet, talking to himself and shouting at cars that pass by. That's "Porkchop", a sort of dubious celebrity in our town.

I've exchanged buenas tardes with Angelica who tells me the sweet story of how her non-English speaking father could not understand why everyone stared at him when he wore his esposa's sweatshirt, until it was explained to him that it read "World's Greatest Grandmother".

I worry over the morbidly obese woman who can hardly walk, but even more worrisome, has a van so packed with garbage with a space only big enough for her body that I wonder if she is a hoarder. She buys more stuff even as we are closing.

Sometimes, I marvel at the two black women friends that come in, so enjoying each other's company and talking up a storm, and that with my white ears, I can't understand them at all. They have a secret language.

John wasn't in this week. He's Hispanic and friends with Chuck, my co-worker. John washes dishes at local restaurants and seems to be alone here. I wonder how he came to our area.

The woman who mops the floors at McD's stops by with a friend, their English non-existant. They're followed by a man who sweeps through daily, looking only for Derby glasses. Another regular laments that she hasn't found anything to buy that day, yet another day asks me how she can keep from collecting more things and learn to discard.

This week, an Amish woman and her baby came in. I dared to ask her (not wanting to intrude) if she was with the men painting the bank in town? Yes, she told me, that was her husband. I told her truthfully that they were doing a beautiful job and that it was appreciated. She smiled widely, but said nothing. I noticed that Amish do not have very nice teeth, or at least she didn't, young though she was.

I get to see Raidy and RuthAnn, the elderly couple who runs the store, who would otherwise not be of my acquaintance. RuthAnn tells me how happy she was that I was in her line at Communion last week. Chuck talks to William, who is always with me, and says that he saw a boy dressed fancy at Church last week that looked like William. "That was ME!" William squeals.

So in this rich, 98% white county, I see a richness in diversity in a small shop on a side street. Do you not see that I am the one that receives?

Farm Notes

In my last blog, I wrote ""Miniature horse foals cannot walk upright on laminate flooring in the basement. Ask me how I know." Dawn wrote: How do you know? Well, Dawn, the foal will slip under the electric fence and come running anytime she sees a human. One day she was with me while I worked in the garage, and I forgot she was there. Our garage is a walkout from our basement, and forgetting she was there, I walked into the basement to put away a toy, leaving the door open . The next thing I knew a terrible clatter, much like Santa's reindeer on the roof, was in the room with me. It was Roxie, who'd followed me in. I had to support her weight to get her out, as the laminate floor was like ice to her hooves.

Ginny, Anna's horse, has gone to training at a local farm. We drove her there with her best bud, Quid (Lauren's horse), put her in a stall, and prepared to leave. That's when the fireworks began. She is quite pushy and buddy-sour, aside from the general issue of needing more training. We expect it to take at least several weeks. The other horses will surely miss her.

There are dead leaves everywhere. I hate dead leaves. I love the fall. What a contrast in sentiments.

Got the horse trailer fixed - lights, brakes, broken window. I wonder if Walmart needs night help?

Tuesday, October 02, 2007

Of Grave Concern

Within a short horse ride of our house lies a large property belonging to a local television station. It was purchased for the construction of a weather station tower. Local horseback riders have benefited by the station looking aside if anyone rode there. While not given permission, we were also not prosecuted. That is, if we did not ride and scare away deer during hunting season when executive big-wigs came to prove their manliness.

In the late 1800's, this property had been a farm, and until recently, the old farm house and barns stood derelict and a shell of their former selves, housing buzzards that would take flight and scare the horses out of their skins.

On one ride or two, we came across a graveyard. Intrigued by the possible history of the place and the story of the people, we decided to return with a camera and a notebook. But of course, it took many more rides to finally locate the overgrown plot. Lauren in particular was intent on finding it.

Today, she and Anna located the Duncan cemetery, likely the owners of this farm in the 1870s or so. We are going to take the photos and information to the local history museum to see if they can tell us more about the Duncans. The farm was on a route from the Ohio River to a spring in our town we know from a previous visit to the history museum. Several of the stones marked infants or a daughter age six.

Sadly, I hear that the property is to be sold and my guess is that it'll be subdivided for yet more houses.

Farm Notes
Dry as a bone. I did manage to weed my herbs and found some parsley, oregano and a few other herbs surviving despite my neglect.

Picked a bunch of red Cubanelle and Hungarian hot wax peppers. Tasted some of each and found them to be sweet, not hot. Yet, when I went to clean my contacts.....Well, let's just say that I've not been drinking should you noticed that my eyes are bloodshot.

Miniature horse foals cannot walk upright on laminate flooring in the basement. Ask me how I know.

We are preparing to store as much hay as we can stuff into the barn. It has been a bad, bad year for hay and people are rushing to buy it like Louisvillians run to buy milk and bread because we could get snow flurries. Truly, people are already paying upwards of $6 a bale here where we normally pay $3.50. So, we're going to buy a bunch now, for even our hay guy will raise the price in January.

Monday, October 01, 2007

Been Busy

With the change in weather, we've been outside more, trying to catch up a bit with a yard let go during extreme heat and drought. We've also enjoyed getting out to ride a bit more. Keeping up with girls studying dual credit high school courses keeps me hopping as well. I am again learning my French language skills and immersing myself in Algebra. Life is good - and full.

Farm Notes

The chickens are not laying - nada. They are lucky that it is 2007 and that I have no idea how to butcher a chicken, nor do I want to learn. On the other hand, the silkie pair that I've verbally given away to a friend have finally started to lay and are sitting on eggs, so that they cannot be moved right now.

Quite a scare yesterday - a man stopped and rapped on our door. If a stranger comes to our door, either they are Jehovah's Witness members or a horse is running down the road. He told me that a mini and her foal were running down our road and inquired if they were ours? We rapidly prepared to get the truck to go see, but soon discovered that the horses in question were not black, like Maggie and Roxie, but buckskin. The man had put the horses in a neighbor's fenced yard, but we were never able to find them. I hope that they were found and put back where they belong. My heart got a good workout in my temporary scare.

I've decided I'm not a gardener, yet I feel ecologically I should try to grow things. Yet, I'm such a dismal failure at it - not enough time. However, I have enough hot peppers right now to supply a Mexican restaurant. They evidently like hot, dry weather and total neglect.

Monday, September 17, 2007

A Leg Up

Sometimes, a task can seem insurmountable...

...without a big sister to help you...

...and to lead you around the yard for a pony ride.

Farm Notes:
No rain. You can hear the grass when you walk on it.
Beautiful skies, nice temperatures. Summer is over. Time to pot annual herbs.
Jorgen developed a swelling on the side of his neck. He had an injection last Thursday so that we could power wash his privates. He often has a small swelling at injection sites. This was large enough that we called the vet, as it encompassed the entire side of the neck. The vet gave him an IV injection anti-inflammatory and we'll follow up with Bute over the next couple of days.
I'm tired yet from spending a full day Saturday at my late Aunt Loraine's house, boxing, cleaning and moving things. Yet, I was very, very pleased at how well my sisters, my bil and my nephew and I all worked together without any animosity and moved a mountain.

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