Friday, January 28, 2011

You, You are AWESOME!

Sometimes, the Internet sucks me in.  I start out trying to find what price to set on selling a horse, a horse who has done pole bending, and the next thing you know, you have to shut down your browser before your 8 year old son asks why that naked woman is hanging upside down on a pole.  How did I get to that website?

In a similar manner, I found myself reading excerpts from What Woman Want Men to Know, though I've not read the book.  It seems that the bottom line of the book is that many women most want to feel valued, as that equates to being safe (he values me so won't leave) and to love.  I posted a joke from this author on my Facebook status:

What do men and women have in common?
They both spend their time thinking about how to make the man happy.

Although several women "liked" the joke, mostly men commented.  Interesting.  Dh's response was that OBVIOUSLY this joke was written by a woman and he thought she had it backwards.

Perhaps, because it is the "season of my discontent", aka "winter", I am more stressed, and my radar picks up articles about stress and feelings.  This morning, the New York Times reported that freshman college students are reporting increased levels of stress from past years of freshman.  My first thought was that there are more and more women in college now, and they are more likely to say they are experiencing stress, whereas boys seem to learn "I'M GOOD!" after doing a face plant into a snow drift after slipping on black ice (don't ask how I know).

“One aspect of it is how women and men spent their leisure time,” she said. “Men tend to find more time for leisure and activities that relieve stress, like exercise and sports, while women tend to take on more responsibilities, like volunteer work and helping out with their family, that don’t relieve stress."

I found a little too much truth in this.  Stressed man:  I think I'll go run on the treadmill.  Stressed woman:  I should volunteer at the local animal shelter - oh, look at that cute kitten....  Next thing you know, you are feeding 7 indoor animals (not including birds and fish) and your dh is asking "what's that smell?"  STRESS.

“Women’s sense of emotional well-being was more closely tied to how they felt the faculty treated them,” she said. “It wasn’t so much the level of contact as whether they felt they were being taken seriously by the professor. If not, it was more detrimental to women than to men.”

Being taken seriously.  I guess after so many years, I've learned to not care.  What do I care what that person thinks of me?  But I've not done so well with what I think of myself.  When I encounter a woman of high power or education, I have to slap the bitch inside me that needles, "See, you could have been that.  You could be a doctor.  You're smart enough to have had your own business, be a CEO.  You should have written a book. You could be important."  I get out photos of my kids and mentally tick off their accomplishments and how proud I am of them.  And yet, I have to dig for the outside "value", pushing me to take on more, to do more, so to hear "you are valued".  

I proclaim today "Validation Day".  Tell someone closest to you that you value them in words and action.  Watch this if you need instructions:

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