Wednesday, November 04, 2015

Bearly Making It

It's safe to say that I'll not ever get William to sleep in a tent again, and getting him to hike with me might even be more of a challenge than it already is. In an effort to show him how books can be funny and wildly interesting, I've been reading aloud "A Walk in the Woods" by Bill Bryson. Chapter 2 is about bears.

For some unknown reason, William has always had a concern about bears. I've assured him that Kentucky has almost no bears and sightings are very rare. This proclamation was ruined several years ago when he, my sister, nephew, and I booked a cabin near the Red River Gorge. All the trails were closed because - you guessed it - a bear was sighted. See? We do have bears.

The chapter on bears (thank you Mr. Bryson) did nothing to assuage his fears. The book has a few words probably not appropriate to but very interesting to a middle schooler:

What on earth would I do if four bears came into my camp? Why, I would die, of course. Literally shit myself lifeless. I would blow my sphincter out my backside like one of those unrolling paper streamers you get at a children's parties - I daresay it would even give a merry toot - and bleed to a messy death in my sleeping bag.

After I explained what a sphincter is, he laughed for several minutes after this passage. He begged that I continue reading, and although I think in part out of interest, read aloud time is also a delay in other school work.

While reading to him, I had my iPhone timer checking the ribs I was cooking for dinner: sear for 6 minutes on the grill each side.

I guess we are having pizza for dinner. Luckily, I don't expect the charred meat to attract Ursus americanus.

Trying to stay on the edge of technology, I have ordered the Dexcom G5 continuous glucose monitor. The upgrade means the transmitter will bluetooth directly to his iPhone with no need for an extra device to capture the data. One less thing to carry is good. Diabetes requires lots of "things" to carry around.

No comments:


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...

Popular Posts