Hiking

William: "Mom, the water is so beautiful it hurts my ears."

Merry Christmas!

Super-Size Me

Dh and I opened our gifts to each other Friday night. I'd really wanted to also get him a hoodie from the university where he went to grad school, but at StuffMart, they only had 2x and 3x.
"I guess that's a statement about our town," I lamented.
"And that was only the women's sizes!" dh replied.

Need for Speed

Hey, people at StuffMart! If you were going any slower you'd be going backwards! Just had to get that off my chest. Thank you.

Just Needing ONE Shot.....

Some people cheat - they use a photo they took sometime during the year, not a Christmas photo they took which is on the list of 5001 things to do before Christmas Eve. Perhaps, next year, I will join them. We're taking a vote on which picture to use for our Christmas card. Vote soon! There's only two days left for one hour photo!

Run, Run, As Fast as You Can.....

I saw a gingerbread man cookie kit the other day at StuffMart. I thought, " that is really lame". I mean, you can make gingerbread so easily. Then, the little devil on my left shoulder slapped me upside the head and said, "Stupid. Don't you remember this?"

This year, I did try making the gingerbread cookies, and after dh broke off a canine, we decided to try soaking them in milk first and they're somewhat edible after that. Maybe I'll get one of those kits after all.

Science News

There's a whole lot of news this week about holes. Black holes, to be specific, are spewing out radiation and messing up whole galaxies some bazillion light years from here. Scientists are studying it likely so that maybe someday, should it happen to Earth, they'll know what to do. News flash guys, Earth will be a dessicated dust bunny by then if we don't solve the problems on our own planet. Let's use those scientists closer to home, shall we?

And by the way, if you don't take my advice, please look for the black hole nearer home (and you know who you are) that is sucking up my scissors, tape measures, rulers, working pens, stapler, finger nail clippers, tweezers, the digital thermometer, and the cordless phone. That can be the only explanation for the disappearance of these items.

And while I'm at it, can you explain to me why they can pinpoint all kinds of astrological bodies so far away they can't be seen, but if you use an Expedia or Mapquest to get driving directions for a place 15 minutes away, you end up in the wrong state?

I've Been Good

This would be the best Christmas present ever, though I'd add one modification - a vacuum underneath so that you can vacuum as you go. I'm ever Suzy Homemaker you know. Santa's probably already loaded the sleigh so I'll save this for next year's list. Thank you to Chris for the tip.

Just Call Me "Rumple" for Short

Once upon a time, there was a poor card production director (doesn't have the same ring as "miller", does it?) who had two beautiful daughters. The daughters had two horses that ate like, well, horses. After a severe drought, all the hay in the kingdom had disappeared and their pile of hay grew smaller and smaller. The girls wept with worry about their horses. The winter loomed long and cold before them, and nearly all the grass was gone.

Now, their father was married to their mother (a very strange occurrence in these times and in fairy tales in general. Generally, the mother is dead in these stories.) The mother thought long and hard, and told the girls that she would go to town to the spinning wheel in the wall, where one can turn gold into straw (or hay in this case). They all piled into their old pickup chariot, and went to town, where after inputting the password "Rumpelstiltskin" the wheels spun and out came "gold" that the father, locked in his cubicle, worked night and day to produce.

Gold in her hand, the mother thought briefly of vacations in the Caribbean or Napa Valley, but the moment passed and she took the gold to the only man in the village who had a pile of hay left. There, she gave over the treasure and piled the hay into the back of the truck. The beautiful daughters smiled, knowing that the horses will be warm and happy all winter. The end.

How to Totally Embarrass a Teenager

When she is nine, you buy a horse trailer that is "cute" (for a nine year old).
When she is sixteen, she often hears at competitions
"Oh, yeah. You're the one with the clown trailer."

You drive around with a ginormous loaf of hay in the back of your old pickup,
making sure her friends see her.

Then, you post photos on the Internet of said teens
pushing said hay bale from the truck. Personally, I like the teamwork.

Proof He's Growing Up

Notice the adult tooth already coming in next to the new hole left by the tooth lost this week. What does Wm notice? "Look how big my nose is!"

Proof he's all boy: have your photo taken with a meatball in your mouth
and laugh about it for half an hour.

Blog Anniversary

On NPR (radio), I heard that yesteday was the 10th anniversary of the invention of the Blog. Ten years ago, the term "WebLog" was coined, and there were just a few of them. "Weblog" morphed into "Blog" and now, over 120,000 of them are started each day. The guy on the radio said, however, there was no way to know how many of them are actually read. Ouch!

Writer Elizabeth Spiers wrote: "I don't know why anyone reads blogs," the editor in chief of a large magazine once said to me. "It's like listening to the crazy guy on the subway rant." Hey, we crazy people need a place to rant, okay? Spiers goes on to say:

it's possible to create commercially viable media products for niche audiences. Even more important for traditional media, blogs are an inexpensive way to test new editorial concepts with an engaged audience whose behavior and preferences are more directly measurable than in any other medium. This alone should be of interest to any pragmatic editor.

See? See, mean editor? I have several readers. Okay, two, but I'm working on it. You see, I miss blogging a day here and there when I'm doing important things like, oh, feeding my family and scolding the dog for peeing on the floor.

This month is an anniversary of sorts for me as well - two years of blogging. I have thoughts now and again about redesigning it, maybe finding a closet where I can hide while I write. It'll have to wait until after Christmas. I'm in full procrastinator mode right now!! Give me more coffee! Each day, I look anxiously up the driveway, waiting for the UPS man and those last minute promises of "it's not too late to order!!" Next year, I'll start earlier. Wait a minute, it is next year.

Update: PITA Woman is entirely correct in her comment. It has been three years now that I've blogged. Time passes quickly when you're full of hot air.

Farm Notes
Hay will be like gold this winter. My hay supplier promised to keep some round bales for me, but he won't sell us the square bales since we did put up a supply of it. He plans to sell out for more money per bale. Can't say as I blame him.

Dreaming of Summer

Would someone please inform my son that winter is here to stay awhile? That snow is on the way? William refuses to acknowledge the change in temperature, and runs around in shorts. Little old ladies scowl at me because he refuses to wear a coat. What kind of mother am I?

I told dh that we'd just have to move to a warmer climate (no ulterior motive on my part of course). Dh replied that moving south would be good, so that Wm could get a job on a shrimp boat, since he'll never be able to have a job where clothes must be worn. I'll get the cocktail sauce.

Farm notes:
Quid, Lauren's POA (Pony of the Americas) had her shoes pulled today. We tried a new farrier for her, and he was very patient. Quid stood quite still. We'll let her go barefoot for now.

Yesterday, upon returning home from shopping, we saw a well-antlered buck standing in the yard under the light post. He was not at all afraid of us, but finally jumped the fence after we'd stared for several minutes. I wanted to tell him to stay; he's safe in my yard.

Overachievers

A neighbor within viewing distance of our house has a Christmas display which can only be meant to shame the rest of us heathens that haven't properly decorated for Christmas. A twelve foot Frosty is lit up at night and gazing at an equally gianormous Santa. Curiously, it's the home of an elderly couple, so it would be "cute" that they decorated together if I weren't so caught up in my lack of decorations.

Perhaps this feeling is reinforced by another neighbor whose house could be used as a landmark to guide jets on their way to the airport. Granted, the guy is a landscaper and really into how his yard looks. He's one of those guys with the pristine yard and a garage where you could eat off the floor. Dh has said that a too clean garage and perfectly manicured yard is the sign of a man who doesn't want to be inside the house with his wife.

Farm Notes:
Mud. That about says it all.

Christmas Spirit

See how cheerful dh and I are trying to be?

It Could Be Worse

I'm trying, really trying, to keep moving and not feel stressed during this Christmas season. It's a stretch for someone that goes around wondering why people are staring before I remember that I've not brushed my hair yet today and it's sticking up like I've been licked by a reindeer. Still, I've maintained my cool, and even went to a few holiday activities.

William is on hyperdrive, constantly asking questions and wanting "someone to play with me". When I replied that I had a lot to do for Christmas, he responded in a way that shows he'll grow up to be a normal male: "What is there to do? Santa does everything." He'll be in time-out for about a week.

This morning, I got to test my old engineering trouble-shooting skills in tracking down a water leak inside the house that flooded the garage and the closet where I hide all the Christmas presents. Luckily, I'm such a procrastinator, there wasn't much in there. See? That's a positive!

And, it could be worse. I could:

• Be trapped in a toilet for four days
• Have a job measuring kangaroo farts
• Have George Bush give out my phone number on national TV by mistake
• Be a total nut case

Okay, okay, the last one I may already be.

Sisters

A friend and enemy all rolled into one person. How perfectly economical.

"I can do it myself."

He gave it a good try.

....but was man enough to know he needed help.

Farm Notes:

I cannot explain it, but had a premonition yesterday morning that something was wrong with the horses. I looked out of the windows twice before finding that the neighbor's recently gelded male horse jumped the fence at the property line to visit with the hussy horse aka "Ginny". He ripped the vinyl off of her winter blanket, leaving her to run about in white fleece with the green vinyl trailing behind her. I called the neighbor who retrieved the horse. I am beginning to keep records of the horse's misdeeds for future reference.

After a full day yesterday, I couldn't go to bed knowing it was going to be 22 degrees that night. The little white hen wasn't yet allowed to sleep with the two black ones, and might freeze. I knew I'd lay awake thinking about it. My daughter admonished me for worrying about chickens late at night. Still, I snuck out after she went to bed and hooked up the heat lamp. I slept well.

Today, dh and I took the family to get the Christmas tree, got 3 loads of hay, and worked on the fence that the neighbor's horses are leaning on. Joe, the hay guy, says we need to figure out if we have enough until next July, as he's sure to sell out. Doesn't he know that I figure out what to have for dinner about an hour before it's time to cook it? And I have to plan to next July???