Finally, You Say

My excuse is that I've been falling apart since my 50th birthday.  Literally.  I am determined to go into old age strong, but it isn't a good sign that you have to feel your VISA card like braille to type the numbers for an online order.

I began having problems shortly after the bird pooped in my ear.   Yes, you read it correctly.  My son and his two friends thought it was hilarious that one of those damn Lorikeets (you'd think I'd learn) sucked up the nectar that costs, per ounce, more than gold, and rewarded me by climbing on to my head.   I have no idea how the timing of his bodily functions and my ear being tilted just so happened, but it did.  For days after, I kid you not, I could feel fluid only in that ear.  I had a photo of this bird on my head (photos add much to a blog, don't they?) but I didn't see the card laying on my computer, and it was cracked when I closed the lid.

A few days later, I began having vision problems.  Having watched too many episodes of the Monsters Inside Me or some such, I visualized exotic Australian lorikeet worms working their way from my ear into my eyeballs. I was not so lucky, as I am sure that would just take a good worming.  Rather, my corneas, made of 6 or 7 layers like all human eyes, have begun to separate.  Hooks hold these layers together and for some reason, long term contact users can one day develop this condition.

The pain hit while I was away from home on a trip to see Lauren at college and celebrate an early Thanksgiving with relatives.  To understand what it felt like, take a bamboo skewer and stick it in your eye.  There, that's it.

Four doctors later, one had the solution: I'll have to give up my silicone.  Not the girls, no, they're all mine. My contacts were of  the highest tech material available, silicone.  I will have to revert to a material I used many, many years ago, but my eyes are now recovered.  Computer work was not comfortable for some time.

Aches and pains were also an issue during this break.  I found that if you carry 40 pounds of used cat litter outside to dump it, and there was a frost the night before, and you try to walk down a hill, the resulting fall can rip your tendons in your shoulders.  The rest of the day I went about like a wooden statue.  This was just a follow-up to the previous day when the miniature horses, headed to their stalls and held only by a lead line, decided to detour to outside of the barn, where again, I encountered the slippery grass.  By the time I got up, ran to shut the front gate as a precaution, they were in their stalls serenely eating their grain.

So, my plans to age gracefully have suffered a slight set back, but I'll go down swinging!  Or at least, I'll go down.

Notes:
"Cluck" is sitting on six eggs.   At least four and probably five are viable.  Heard a cheep today from inside the egg.  Due on Saturday.

The horses have been "flipped".  This is not like cow tipping.  Rather, they are now outside in the daytime and inside at night, the reverse of the summer schedule.