Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Bite Me

Mean old man.  Lauren said my reaction was immature but my husband and other daughter later laughed at the story.  Lauren and I were driving home from downtown when I saw that I needed gas and took the exit for Cost-Mo.   I knew I should have been in the left turn lane, but somehow found myself in the right.

After turning, I now had to cross two lanes to turn into the store.  Looking into my rear view mirror and over my shoulder, I had plenty of time to get over but had to accelerate.  A mammoth SUV was moving in fast despite my blinker which clearly indicated my intentions.  I crossed both lanes without causing the gas guzzler to even brake.  As luck would have it, we both came to a stop a the intersection with a red light.

As he pulled past me, he turned towards me with the meanest, pure hatred I've seen in awhile and mouthed several choice words I could not distinguish.  His anger was visible.  He hadn't counted on my lane getting  permission to move ahead first, and as my old van passed his new "I-own-the-road-mobile", he again turned his  visage to me and shot me pure venom.

My instinctual response was to blow him a kiss and smile.  I couldn't help it.  I laughed as I drove away.  Lauren chastised me for my immaturity.  Oh, the sad thing to behave like a middle schooler and get called on it by your now adult daughter.  Loved it.  Would do it again.  Then again, there was no way for the guy to follow me, trapped as he was in his lane and obviously he was on a mission from God and he was running late.  He was professionally dressed;  I might have not attempted this with a skin head sporting a Confederate flag from the flat bed of his truck.  I could only feel sorry for the poor family to which he'd go home tonight.

I justified my behavior as milder than showing the man one of the digits of my hand.  Dh imagined the instant judgments the man must have made because of my old beat up van.  "He didn't know who he was dealing with!"

Lauren came up the stairs around the time I was fixing dinner.  Were our arbor vitae shrubs, just outside the garage, hit by lightening the other day, she asked?   I didn't think so, surely I would have noticed, but I went to see what she was talking about.  One of the 8 foot tall shrubs was pushed over, and three of them were missing branches, all at the height of a miniature horse.    Roxie.

I stood up and staked the leaning shrub and we examined the damage.  Roxie is known to rub against anything if she is sweaty and itchy, particularly arbor vitae and pampas grass.  But she'd never done anything to these shrubs.  Yet these had not only been rubbed, but eaten!  A quick Internet search showed that only in a great quantity was it toxic.  Yet what is a "great" quantity for a mini?  Hours later, she is fine.  I'm not so sure about the shrubs.

More storms rolled through tonight, but it appeared this night to be more of a light show than anything.  Hopefully, it will remain that way.

1 comment:

pita-woman said...

Well, in the future, if you find yourself in the wrong lane again (happens to me from time to time),instead of tempting the ire of another driver, go on up to the next light, turn left, and then left again into the shopping center. Bear right and that will take you over to Cost-mo. ;)


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