Not Astronaut Material

Back in the days when I thought I could be or do anything, that is, back before reality set in, I thought I might want to be an astronaut. I love the stars and spent much time looking in a telescope we had, thinking of what was out there. I somehow didn't follow that dream (nor a few others), but after reading this news, I'm quite a bit thankful I didn't.

It seems that the space station's drinking system has a "glitch". The fact that the system recycles urine and sweat makes the problem a tad more critical. Ain't NO way! That and having to relearn to use diapers, no honey, I'm glad to be a housewife. They say in some news articles that the future may hold recycling urine for the masses. I do hope I'm dead by then.

I can just imagine. "Honey, does the water smell a little "off" to you today?"
Dh: I'm sure it's fine.
Me: No, really, it's got a little color to it, doesn't it?
Dh: I'm sure it's fine.
(sound of me, retching)

Happy Thanksgiving!

The Economy of Plank Horse Fences

Still wondering about the fence colors? I know you couldn't sleep last night wondering. Why does Lexington paint fences white, while Central Kentucky has black plank fences? I found a reference finally that might tell. It could be that white fences were preferred, a stylish and clean look. Yet read on:

Like the different types of fencing, different treatment options for protecting the wood are available. Paint is the most popular choice, but even with paint there are decisions to make. "Black paint seems to be what most people use. It used to be white paint, but black is more economical now," said Goodell.

"Fences painted black look better longer than fences that are painted white. There are different types of paint to use, too, and you need to be careful when you paint. We have had people use latex paint and spray it on the fences before a rainstorm. The rain washes the paint off. I think it is best to use an oil-based paint or an asphalt treatment that will last even longer, and watch the weather, too. Spraying or treating the paint on a dry day with little wind is the best method of assuring the fence gets the majority of the paint."

White favored the use of white paint on his own farm, but he has switched to black paint as a cost-saving measure. "Black paint does seem to last longer and, if it lasts longer, it is protecting the wood longer," he said. "Most of the posts we use today are pressure-treated, which helps to preserve the wood, but I still encourage our clients to paint their fences and posts shortly after we install them.

So that is the reason for black fences and apparently, even new fences in Lexington are going to the black paint. White fences will likely be visible in areas that have already established that as the norm.

Thank you, Costco...

...for the extra five pounds I am gaining this week. I got a message this week on my answering machine stating that their records indicated that I had purchased a pre-wrapped box of gift chocolates. Yes, for once in my life, I thought I just might get going on Christmas and actual buy gifts before the last week before the 25th - and see, just see how it turns out??? This particular batch of chocolates has developed a problem and some boxes show "bloom". Oh, gross, mold??? This bloom is due to cocoa butter rising to the surface of the chocolate oh, good, not mold and causing discoloration. If I would like to return or exchange them, I could.

What I certainly could not do is give the chocolates as a gift and risk the recipient seeing that they had bloomed and I'd given an inferior gift. And, I wasn't sure when I might get to Costco again. And I was curious as to what the bloom might look like. And I'm eating a whole $10 box of chocolates....

Cure for Lameness

My friend, Ladina, and I were trading horse tales while watching our young sons extort ask sweetly for candy on Halloween night. Her mare had gone lame. I recommended our horse chiropractor (yes, there really is such a thing) who had helped us out with several horses, applying his vast experience with practical advice. Now, "Larry", he fools you with his accent, large belly, cigarette hanging out of his mouth. You might have to look past the gaps in his teeth and his occasional spitting (if he's on chew, trying to not smoke). Younger than I am and wheezing, he still can twist a horse's back into shape. In short (and he is), he can sometimes work magic. Worth a try, right? Her horse was in pain. I followed up with Larry's phone number.

Some days went by until I again heard from Ladina. When I did, I sat at my computer, read her email and got that high pitched Mickey Mouse laugh, my daughters beginning to laugh with me and not even knowing why we were all laughing. I tried to read her email out loud, but the tears (of laughter) started up, and William and his best friend grew greatly concerned and wondered whatever was wrong with me. Perhaps it was comic relief, such stress we've had lately, but judge for yourself if she is not funny. I think she should start a blog, don't you?

We had the horse chiropractor out last week - I still can't figure out why he didn't get kicked when he wrapped Shania's tail around his arm, pressed on her hip and yanked. I would have. You, too, I'm guessing. However, she is walking much better, even in the cold.

He talked about poultry and how to applying it down the leg, rubbing it up and down the hurt leg. Ask me if I knew how to make one or where to get one. Well I have a friend, Leslie who raises show chickens and could probably talk her into letting me borrow one but I couldn't figure out how rubbing one of those fancy black and white chickens on Shania's leg was going to help.

He told me I could get one from a guy down by the tracks. Back home, that means where poor people live and yard birds are their dinner. When I tentatively asked about where to find one - he said, "the track, you know, Churchill Downs, they use them all the time." It got even more confusing when he asked if I was using Devil's Claw on her - because that would be like a rabid chicken that chases you across the yard - squalkin' peckin' clawin' and a flappin'. I'm sure your chickens are civilized and don't behave that way. I finally figured out that he was talking about a poultice, not poultry. So much for country life or country talk.

I am so fortunate to have friends that make me laugh. But Ladina, anytime you need a chicken for your horse, you just holler. I'll lend you one.

Notes:
Thanks to my friend, Valerie, who sent me a link so that I would know there are people nuttier than I am. And to Becky, I've got specifics for you: heavy breed chickens need heat lamps below freezing. Bantam breeds should have them below 40 degrees F. Hope yours are keeping toasty.

And then I hit him.....

Dh was commenting last weekend that Hilary Clinton was considering the position of Secretary of State. I remarked that it would make two women who consecutively held that position.

Me: Interesting.
DH: Well, it is a position for a secretary.

Discover Your Inner Palette

By answering seven questions, you can determine your color personality for home decor with the Color Sense Game. I am Leather, Stone and Wood. What are you?

My Town Monday - Fence Color

The county where I live is a "bedroom" community, not just for people, but for horses. It is not unusual to see large horse trailers rolling down my street on the way to deliver a horse to be bred, rehabilitated or trained in a facility nearby. Some of them are only here a short while, and then, it is back to work somewhere else as they are again trailered back home.


Once outside the city limits, it is not unusual to see the roads lined with black four-board fence. Occasionally, you will see a fence of a different color. For example, a neighbor one mile from me painted his fence brown. (Of course, he also painted the trim on his brick house pink and purple. He apparently walks to the beat of a different drummer.) Mostly, however, everyone here conforms to black fence paint. It is pleasing to see it go on, connecting disjointed properties with a common theme.

I don't know who decided that fences in our area would be black. There are advantages to black paint, which isn't always "paint". I used to use roof sealer cut with mineral spirits to paint our own four board. It is thick and water proof but the smell is nauseating. It can be sprayed on, however, if you have enough fence (and money) to hire someone to do it. Sometimes, you'll see men spraying fences along the road completely covered with black tar or paint, their eyes peeking out over bandannas covering their noses and mouths. Until the weather turned colder, black acrylic paint was my choice as I can paint it easily and it doesn't smell and people aren't breaking open their pillows for feathers to add to the tar.

Despite a quick Googling of fence paint, I've not yet uncovered why my region of central Kentucky wears black paint, but eastern Kentucky, specifically, Lexington, sports white paint. Flying or driving into Lexington, you will see miles and miles of it. It has it's advantages over black paint. One is that it doesn't show bird poop like black fences, but I can see no other advantage. I will continue to study this phenomenon and see if I can uncover any historical basis for the choice of paint color in Kentucky fences.

Write about your town, and tell Travis.

Notes:
Speaking of paint, I've tried two paint colors so far in our main room and still we are not satisfied. I have painted and painted. And because the paint color doesn't go with curtains we very much like, I am going to have to paint it all over again.

And more about paint! We traded Ginny (Anna's former horse) yesterday for a small paint horse she and I will share. He has two blue eyes and is black and white. His name is Phantom of the Opera or Phantom for short. And he is short. And safe. That's good.

Learnin' Him Right

This is for you Texans, just so you know I'm learnin' the boy right. Here he is trying to steal his first rifle. I'm so proud. Now, I have to go get him up for Sunday school.


BTW, did you know that most Kentucky long rifles were actually made in Pennsylvania? We like to take credit like that.

Today's Notes

My day was overscheduled, margin-less. Lauren was to have an appointment to have her wisdom teeth evaluated for removal. I had just enough time to take her and get home, change, pack a sandwich and leave to go do some horse trading. Snuggled nicely in my schedule, I should have had enough time to do that, and return home for a social event the girls had that started at 5 p.m. Or so I thought.

I returned home to find Daisy (our Beagle-dor, Beagle-Lab mix) had thrown up. That in itself isn't unusal, except she was shaking and her pupils were markedly different. Never made it to horse trade, as I rushed her to the vet. During our discussion, the diagnosis came to me. She'd gotten kicked by a horse. Yep, said the vet, that could explain it all. Concussion.

She is now fine, though a bit sheepish in her movements. Likely, she'll not chase a horse again soon. We've told her not to, but does she listen? It moves, she chases. So, maybe some horse trading tomorrow. Who knows what the day may bring?

Horse Trading

Ginny is hopefully on her way to a new home today. Ginny is Anna's horse, and let's just say things aren't working out, and she needs a new situation. And we need a new horse. As Anna is riding less, we hope to find a good saddle horse for trail riding that Anna, dh and I can share. A friend who buys and sells horses for a living said he'd be willing to trade us Ginny for one of his stock. Said he had a few good, safe, broke horses we could come see this weekend. He sent some pictures. What do you think? I think there's a horse in my future!




Notes:
For those of you that are unfortunate enough to live in a warmer clime, it is 16 F (-9 C) here this morning. Very invigorating. If you are a penguin. Which I am not.

I fixed up the heat lamp on the chickens yesterday evening. It is difficult to free range chickens that refuse to leave the coop and sits huddled under the heat lamp.

Brown Paper Packages

A package arrived yesterday from FedUp. It's Christmas season again or at least it is in my friend's organized household. I received her Christmas card last season the day after Thanksgiving. I hadn't even absorbed the five extra pounds yet from my meal the night before and she'd already moved on to the next season.

Shopping on the Internet certainly is a way to get the presents purchased and in the house without a young inquiring mind who sort of still believes in Santa but is at the age where he just can't quite believe it anymore, but then doesn't want to not believe. Friend just wants to keep her older boys from shaking the box until the contents are no longer usable.

When it arrived, William wanted to know what it was. Not wanting to tell him it was for friend's son, information that would shoot straight into William's ear, out of his mouth and into the intended recipient's ear, I told him it was for friend's husband.

William: I bet it's fish tails!
Me: (Picturing chopped off fish tails) What?
William: You know, F-I-S-H tails.
Lauren: Mom, I think he means lobster tails.

My dh often receives a gift certificate, with which he buys lobster tails, from a mail order steak place which I will not name because if you even so much as read the name, junk email and catalogs will start flying out of your computer and bury you in a pile of unsolicited appeals to buy their very good, but high priced goods.

Appeased at being understood, William went back to shaking her packages.

Please Welcome Chuck to the Blogosphere

I'm happy to encourage and introduce a new blogger! Shortly after guest blogging for me, Chuck sent a Wordless Wednesday post. I politely told him - Go get your own blog! Chuck has many amusing stories and insights into small town Kentucky life, so please go see Constable Chuck and see what he has to say.

Kentucky Math

Wordless Wednesday - Pianists

When You Thought You've Seen Everything....

...your daughter tells you about keyboard pants. Truly, the only option is to send both daughters to a convent. It's the only way to save them from this perverse world.

You know, it took me awhile to get used to Borg-like appendages on ears that made people appear to be talking out loud to themselves. Now, you'll have to question whether the boy in front of you is typing up class notes or playing with himself.

It comes with a joystick located behind the zipper. How original. I wonder if that's optional and you can get a discount if you provide your own joystick. Sorry, couldn't resist.

And since this blog could quickly degenerate, I leave you to your own thoughts on this (hopefully short-lived) fashion statement.

My Town Monday - Guest Blog by Chuck

I'm on vacation from blogging for just today. I've invited my friend, Chuck, to guest blog for me as we live in the same town. Please give him a hearty welcome to the world of blog writing. When you finish reading, write your own MTM and tell Travis.

My town (pop. About 7,000) is really two different towns or a town with two or even more distinct sections. There is an Interstate Highway that runs East-West through the town.

The portion of the town that is south of the interstate consists of “modern” places. There is a Wal-Mart, a large Kroger grocery store, a fast-food burger place, two franchised restaurants, several banks, a movie rental palace, a Radio Shack and the hospital.

About ½ mile north of the interstate is a historic main street. Main St. runs generally parallel to the interstate. The Main Street business area is only about two blocks long. One side of one of those blocks is actually taken up by the county courthouse and the county jail. On Main Street you will find two sit down restaurants, both locally owned; a combination used bookstore and coffee shop; a delicatessen and sandwich shop; a knitting store; a small ice cream store and a department store.

Running down the middle of Main Street is a railroad track. Twenty to thirty times a day, a CSX freight comes slowly rumbling through. There is diagonal parking on one side of Main Street and occasionally someone backs out of a parking space into a passing train. Of course this shuts the town for a while as the train stops until everything is cleared up.

Then there are the “other” areas of town: There is a transition area between the interstate and Main St. This area is a transition between the modern and the historic, with buildings becoming less modern as you get to Main Street. There are some businesses on the streets that intersect and run parallel to Main Street.

These are all most all in buildings that used to be residences. Here you will find doctors, lawyers, two small restaurants, a beauty shop and a barbershop. These buildings, as well as the ones that are along Main Street are part of one of the Historic Districts in Town. The Historic Districts Commission must rule on the “appropriateness” of any change to the outside of one of these buildings.

Finally there are the housing developments. Most are similar to the developments of single-family homes that you will see in any suburban area. There are a few patios homes developments and a few apartment complexes and even a trailer park or two.-- Chuck McC

My Reputation Precedes Me

Christine offered me a ride to a piano class that both her son and mine had Saturday afternoon. Just before she arrived, I decided to have a cup of hot coffee to revive myself, as I had been running all day. I also indulged in a chocolate iced cupcake, as a way of making the coffee more enjoyable. What harm could one small cupcake do?

William and I climbed into her van which does not at all resemble Eugene (our much used van), and I pulled on the shoulder harness and locked it in. Adjusting further, I noticed ("OH, NO!" I said aloud) I had gotten chocolate icing on the strap. I turned my hand and saw it on the fingers of my left hand. Instinctively, I licked the icing off.

I looked over at Christine who had at first a strange look on her face, but then began laughing when I told her it was chocolate icing.

"I thought it was poop," she said. Just like that. Evidently, she reads my blog.

Notes:
Junosmom 2, Mice 0.

Constable

Chuck is getting a lot of press on my blog this week. He will be guest-blogging on my My Town Monday this coming week. I wrote yesterday about how he announced to the entire world that I was ancient and "preserved". I should say "Constable Chuck" for in this month's election, Chuck found out the Friday before that no one was running for Constable in his district and that very day was the last to register to be a write-in candidate.

With eight solid votes, Chuck won and is now a constable with the power to....well, no one seems to know. They are researching it at the courthouse. In the meantime, he has been sworn in and shared with me his oath of office taken in the Commonwealth of Kentucky.

Oath of Office
Do you solemnly swear that you will
support the Constitution of the
United States and the Constitution
of this Commonwealth, and be
faithful and true to the
Commonwealth of Kentucky so long
as you continue a citizen thereof,
and that you will faithfully execute,
to the best of your ability, the office
of Constable according
to law;

and you do further solemnly swear
that since the adoption of the
present Constitution, you, being a
citizen of this State, have not fought
a duel with deadly weapons within
this State nor out of it, nor have you
sent or accepted a challenge to fight
a duel with deadly weapons, nor
have you acted as second in carrying
a challenge, nor aided or assisted
any person thus offending, so help
you God.

Interesting. You'd think that in say the past 100 years or two, that they'd get around to changing the wording on dueling. I mean, gees Louise, who ever heard of people dueling in this day and age? OH, wait a minute. Kentucky, West Virginia (yes, Rod, a nod to you) I guess maybe it wasn't all that long ago. And perhaps dueling has just changed. Now, people can't be bothered to duel properly, with "seconds". No, like fast food drive-through's, dueling is accomplished with drive-by's. It doesn't at all have the same class, does it?

Congratulations, Chuck on your victory!

Older Than I Look?

While volunteering at the thrift store this week, I found the back room to be excessively chilly while the front room was overly warm. Moving back and forth between the two while putting out merchandise, I found myself having to put on and then remove my sweater because of the uneven heating of the building.

I tried to prevent any hot flash jokes from my co-worker, Chuck, by saying that I knew I was getting older, but that wasn't my problem yet. It was the building's heating system.

Chuck said more or less, that he wouldn't guess I was old enough for hot flashes. "You can't be more than thirty-six."
I smiled, and said I knew he was just being nice to me, but I appreciated the sentiment.

Chuck continued, "Thirty-eight?"
I stuck my thumb in the air and gestured upward.

"Forty??" his voice rising in pitch of disbelief. Certainly I wasn't that old!
I shook my head, smiling sadly. No, older. Thumb gestures upward. "Forty-TWO?"

Now, up to this point, I'm feeling complimented, so I admitted "No, Chuck. I'm forty-eight."
My tiny bubble of self-congratulation was quickly burst as he let out a loud,
"OH MY GAWD!" and people in the shop laughed and turned to look at the old lady I am.

He recovered nicely by saying that I was well-preserved. Great. I'm going to go take my Geritol now and go to bed. It's past nine o'clock.

Notes:
Clay (rooster) met his maker yesterday by way of varmint. I had guests in the house yesterday and thought I might be considered a little more eccentric than they already know I am to have a smelly paralyzed rooster in the house. So, I took him in his plastic container to near the chicken coop so he could watch the hens. When I returned home last night at 8 p.m., the container was tipped over and he was gone. The varmints are coming to attack earlier each evening. Part of me is relieved - it was a natural death and I was tired of nightly having to give him a bath (he couldn't move you know, so you can visualize....) Part of me is sad for him. I hope the raccoon or possum chokes on his bones, though.