Friday, November 21, 2008

Brown Paper Packages

A package arrived yesterday from FedUp. It's Christmas season again or at least it is in my friend's organized household. I received her Christmas card last season the day after Thanksgiving. I hadn't even absorbed the five extra pounds yet from my meal the night before and she'd already moved on to the next season.

Shopping on the Internet certainly is a way to get the presents purchased and in the house without a young inquiring mind who sort of still believes in Santa but is at the age where he just can't quite believe it anymore, but then doesn't want to not believe. Friend just wants to keep her older boys from shaking the box until the contents are no longer usable.

When it arrived, William wanted to know what it was. Not wanting to tell him it was for friend's son, information that would shoot straight into William's ear, out of his mouth and into the intended recipient's ear, I told him it was for friend's husband.

William: I bet it's fish tails!
Me: (Picturing chopped off fish tails) What?
William: You know, F-I-S-H tails.
Lauren: Mom, I think he means lobster tails.

My dh often receives a gift certificate, with which he buys lobster tails, from a mail order steak place which I will not name because if you even so much as read the name, junk email and catalogs will start flying out of your computer and bury you in a pile of unsolicited appeals to buy their very good, but high priced goods.

Appeased at being understood, William went back to shaking her packages.

8 comments:

Sepiru Chris said...

Liebe Junosmom,

I quite like your tales, be they: fish, lobster, horse, mantis(? they have no tail!), porkchop(? ibid), or otherwise.

You have a great way with words, Junosmom, and such snappy tails they are too (referring back to the Southern Cousin who swims with the Snappers and had the chainsaw dental surgery).

I suppose having three children, horses, chickens, and assorted other obligations requires you to pare things down. Fortunately, you do not pare down the wit.

My prolixity is obviously an indicator of having too much time on my hands. But, I have no idea where we would put a pony, let alone a horse, in this apartment.

Thanks, Cheers, und Tchuess,
Chris

Camflock said...

After shaking said package -- did he still believe it was a "fish tail" when it did rattle? :)

chuckmccky said...

I am so glad I read these blogs online. That way I can instantly "Goolge" words such as "Sepiru" and "Liebe". I found out what "Liebe" means but what about "Sepiru"? Is it a Cantonese word? (I know you thought I was going to say Mandarin, but I know that it is Cantonese that is spoken in Hong Kong. You see I have fond memories of the three story McDonald's that is at the ferry stop in Kowloon.)

Sepiru Chris said...

Liebe Chuck,

I answered your question over on your blog. :)

Liebe Junosmom,

I have been meaning to ask you about your electronic epistolary handle.

My assumption is the obvious, that with Junosmom are you referring to Ops, wife of Saturn, mother of Juno, from Roman mythology (Rhea in Greek mythology).

And by the way you describe various things in your blog, from examining marriage potentials of young pilots, to all the work that you do around the farm, to producing great wealth on the farm (homeschooling and $10 eggs, for example) it would be pretty accurate.

If not, what? If you are amenable to telling, that is.

Tchuess,
Chris

Junosmom said...

Sepiru Chris: I have too little time on my hands and am told those hands are attached too much to my keyboard. What to do? BTW, I enjoy the German words as my grandfather hailed from Fritzlar, Germany. I visited once....long ago.

Camflock: Now you know I didn't really let him shake the package. I did that myself.

Hey Chuck: will we now add German to our study on Tuesday of French and Spanish?

Junosmom said...

Sepiru Chris:
My handle was chosen so long ago, I don't remember how old it is. It could go back to as early as 1996 when I brought home a seven week old Great Dane puppy. We named her Juno. Had I known that my "handle" would be something that would be more recognizable in my community than my own name. Many times I'll say my name, no recognition. Then, I'll mention that on email lists, I am Junosmom. Oh, yes, they'll say, I've seen your posts.

Juno lived to the ripe old age of 8.5 years, old for a Great Dane. She was named with the intent to find a Greek mythology name of the highest rank. Yet, I know that poor Juno was much maligned by her husband. My Juno, however, was much loved by all and was the best dog ever. She is truly missed.

Sepiru Chris said...

Liebe Junosmom,

Thank you for the answer.

I think that being Juno the Great Dane's Mom is a fine handle. Thank you for elucidating that.

And, please allow me to microblog what my thoughts were on your name, based on melding classical studies with your posts.

...And why I still think that my thoughts might be serendipitously appropriate...

This requires a two part analysis. Part one of the analyis looks at Juno, while part two of the analysis looks at Juno's Mom.

Juno, the Roman Queen of the Gods (as Mother of the Gods), was the patron saint of marriage.

Your post on your visit to the local airport, and the analysis of handsome, young pilots, points out possible links here.

In classical times one significant purpose of marriage was to produce children who could be educated for the benefit of the paterfamilias.

(Legally all power and responsibility for the family, in classical Rome (the first half of its existence) resided with the male head of the family. You could be a 50 year old man with no right to contract and with no right of ownership in anything that you bought or worked for--your 82 year old father called all the shots.)

But, the wife had significant power in the home.

Juno was sometimes obliquely referred to as "Lucina"--she who brings children into light. Of course children are physically brought to the light at the far (near?) end of the birth canal, but metaphysically they are brought to light through education and enriched experiences.

As a homeschooling mom who maintains the farm... well that connection is obvious too.

Of course, maintaining the farm means overseeing the finances. Your concern for those is evident on posts regarding a management accountant's concern for segmented cost analysis of egg production out on the porch.

I scarcely need to note that Juno was also the Patron Goddess of the Roman Empire's finances and that the Roman Mint was located near her main temple and altar.

Of course Juno also favoured the goatskin garb worn by the Greek Goddess Athena, and which was emblematic of the outfit warn by campaigning Greeks, and, later, by campaigning Romans. (People who were protected by another were under an aegis; soldiers liked that. The aegis was the name of Athena's goatskin cloak, a magical protective covering. (Of course, being Greek mythology, there are a number of alternate stories as to what the Aegis is.))

Mothers, we all know, tend to be fiercely protective of their families. Protective? I am sure that you are. Fierce?

Mothers who are Queens have even more resources to be fierce. I am not saying that you are terrifically fierce, as I have seen no posts showing that explicitly yet, but you mentioned (even though you stem from the Northern side of the Mason-Dixie Line) that that Kentucky-snapping-turtle-catcher-guy was likely a relative... I leave it to others to draw the appropriate connections here.

But your moniker does not relate to Juno per se, you abrogate the title of Juno's mom.

Nonetheless, children are said to show the qualities of their parents. If the qualities of Juno were not apparent in you, it would be less likely that you could be Juno's Mom.

I think that I have shown that Juno's qualities are mirrored in yourself. Which means that we can now undergo part two of the analysis.

Who is Juno's Mom?

Ops is Juno's Mom.

If Juno's Mom is the Mother of the Gods, then Juno's Mom is the Mother of all Mothers (of the Gods). The matriarchal Big Kahuna, if I may use that colloquialism.

Ops is the earth and creates all. All fecundity and fertility is due to Ops and as she created Juno, Mother of the Gods, Ops precedes the time of the Gods.

Ops reigned beside (and a bit below) Saturn in the Golden Age of Roman mythology. Their mythological utopia.

Abundance, plenty, and riches all come from Ops.

When you look up your favourite classical music titles they may well end with "Op. X" (or Op. Y or Op. Z... you get the pattern).

Op. is the short form of Opus, latin for work, which is also derived from Ops.

Opus is the sacred work, the ploughing of the fields and the cultivation of the land (by extension, the cultivation of minds) that comprises the worship of Ops.

For a version from a totally different culture, you may have seen the Heavenly Temple in Beijing during coverage of the Olympics.

In Ming and Qing dynasties the Emperor would till a sacred piece of land and seed it, prior to any farmers starting their work in their fields.

Why? Because in an agrarian society, the land is God. And the land, and its fertility must be maintained. So the Emperor, as a God, tills first, to show the utmost respect to the land so that it will provide. As all comes from the land.

So, Junosmom, that is quite a title that you have abrogated to yourself.

Look after yours, and all that has come from your "land" and embody the Golden Age for them, as surely they will have to leave one day to discover reality. And fiercely protect "yours" until then.

Judging from the quality of your postings, and the variety of topics you post upon, I suspect that you are as close a deserver to Ops's legacy as any other could be.

And you do not claim to be Ops, you claim to be Junosmom.

You definitely have Juno's qualities. And I think you have some of Ops'.

As the fortunate companion of many dogs, cats, snakes, birds, fish, mice, and numerous wee beasties, I think it is fantastic that your moniker stems from a much loved canine companion.

I also still hold that, serendipitously, the wider ramifications of your handle are appropriate too.

Long post. I am adept at avoiding my own writing demands. :)

Tchuess,
Chris

PS I'll bet you are regretting offering me space to microblog now! Nothing ever seems to be as short as I intend it to. Except my daily writing on my "required" topics... they are never as long as they are meant to be. Ich entschuldige mich.

Junosmom said...

Dear Chris,
I do think you've put more effort into understanding my moniker than I have! But thank you for the microblog. Yes, I once had a learned man ask me if that made me Ops and I said, "huh?" Actually, I used to be quite the student of Greek mythology many years ago, but had forgotten that. I do like your thought pattern to see that Junosmom is applicable to me and it does seem that you compliment me. I hope to live up to it.

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