Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Cure for Lameness

My friend, Ladina, and I were trading horse tales while watching our young sons extort ask sweetly for candy on Halloween night. Her mare had gone lame. I recommended our horse chiropractor (yes, there really is such a thing) who had helped us out with several horses, applying his vast experience with practical advice. Now, "Larry", he fools you with his accent, large belly, cigarette hanging out of his mouth. You might have to look past the gaps in his teeth and his occasional spitting (if he's on chew, trying to not smoke). Younger than I am and wheezing, he still can twist a horse's back into shape. In short (and he is), he can sometimes work magic. Worth a try, right? Her horse was in pain. I followed up with Larry's phone number.

Some days went by until I again heard from Ladina. When I did, I sat at my computer, read her email and got that high pitched Mickey Mouse laugh, my daughters beginning to laugh with me and not even knowing why we were all laughing. I tried to read her email out loud, but the tears (of laughter) started up, and William and his best friend grew greatly concerned and wondered whatever was wrong with me. Perhaps it was comic relief, such stress we've had lately, but judge for yourself if she is not funny. I think she should start a blog, don't you?

We had the horse chiropractor out last week - I still can't figure out why he didn't get kicked when he wrapped Shania's tail around his arm, pressed on her hip and yanked. I would have. You, too, I'm guessing. However, she is walking much better, even in the cold.

He talked about poultry and how to applying it down the leg, rubbing it up and down the hurt leg. Ask me if I knew how to make one or where to get one. Well I have a friend, Leslie who raises show chickens and could probably talk her into letting me borrow one but I couldn't figure out how rubbing one of those fancy black and white chickens on Shania's leg was going to help.

He told me I could get one from a guy down by the tracks. Back home, that means where poor people live and yard birds are their dinner. When I tentatively asked about where to find one - he said, "the track, you know, Churchill Downs, they use them all the time." It got even more confusing when he asked if I was using Devil's Claw on her - because that would be like a rabid chicken that chases you across the yard - squalkin' peckin' clawin' and a flappin'. I'm sure your chickens are civilized and don't behave that way. I finally figured out that he was talking about a poultice, not poultry. So much for country life or country talk.


I am so fortunate to have friends that make me laugh. But Ladina, anytime you need a chicken for your horse, you just holler. I'll lend you one.

Notes:
Thanks to my friend, Valerie, who sent me a link so that I would know there are people nuttier than I am. And to Becky, I've got specifics for you: heavy breed chickens need heat lamps below freezing. Bantam breeds should have them below 40 degrees F. Hope yours are keeping toasty.



2 comments:

Janie said...

That is hilarious!

pita-woman said...

Guffawing!

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