Friday, May 26, 2006

The Great "In-Between"

I'm in the "in-between" times, I've decided. You know the time between Ignorance and Forgetfulness. The times that no one ever tells you about when you stand blissfully ignorant in your white dress and pledge in good times and in bad. You envision a perfect marriage with perfect children in a house well managed. In this phase of life, one has often looked disdainfully at other people's children and thought them ill-mannered, ill-kempt, and generally annoying. Frequently, people in this stage have thoughts that their (future) children will not behave so.

Yes, as you stood before every one and declare in good times and in bad, little do you know that one of the best days of your life will be when your youngest has declared he will henceforth use the big potty and wipe his own butt. No one would have told you that this would cause immeasurable joy. You would not have believed them anyway.

No one tells you as you walk smiling down the aisle that one day, you'd be happy to take a nap at 5 p.m. for just fifteen minutes, but won't be able to until you get into Forgetfulness. Nor that you will reach a time when going out past 10 p.m. would keep you up past your bedtime, exhausted for want of a nap. Sequins sparkling on your dress's train, you did not think ahead to the day when you would not think it unusual for a child to throw up on you, pee on you, or worse. You would not have believed them anyway.

As you cut the cake and led the way to the banquet line, you would not think of the meal after meal after meal that you'll prepare and the dishes you'll do. You didn't know about the child that would stuff his mouth full of your culinary creation, spit it out into your hand and loudly declares, "YUCK!" But, you would not have believed them anyway.

And then comes the Forgetfulness, when you don't remember the aching tiredness, the stress, the lack of privacy in the bathroom, or at least you pretend not to. It is someone else's turn in the "In-Between" and you encourage them with words like "this is the best years of your life" and "they grow up so fast". But they won't believe you anyway.


pita-woman said...

Oh!, that's the funniest!!
Too hysterical.

Favorite Apron said...

Not funny to me, because I"m living it. Married 18 yrs and kids ages 15, 13, 10 and 2.
I will respond with " . .. sigh . . yeah. . . . "


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