As the evening sun played on the water, I thought about how much the river has always been part of my life. It's ironic that my father grew up along side this river, even swimming in it as a child, and now, though it is five miles from my house, I am living along side this same river. In my early professional career, dh and I both worked for a company along the river, and you could see it from my apartment balcony. One of our favorite restaurants while dating was on the river. We hadn't been there in awhile, so we went there to celebrate Lauren's birthday.
Sometimes, the amount of time that has passed shocks me. Just this morning, I was reading a literary agent's blog about "ageism" in publishing. That is, a publisher would rather have a younger author who, if successful, has time left to put out more books. So, if you are say, 50 years or more, it is best not to mention one's age. Not there yet, but a sharp intake of air might or might not have occurred.
Occasionally, I have these panic attacks. It comes on when I reflect on what I've accomplished in life compared to all the women my age that may have taken different paths - perhaps career tracks. And, I wonder, as we sometimes must do, when it is all said and done, what will be said about me? What will I leave behind? And then I remember: