Spam

When I was a kid, Spam was a gross meat product in a can. It still is kind of gross, but as the garbage that fills my inbox each morning. While I am sleeping, some people out there burn up a lot of energy in an effort to improve on body parts I do not have, sell to me drugs I do not need, and find partners I do not want or need.

These emails seem to come in waves. For one whole week, the spammers were sure that I needed a new Rolex watch. Lately, I am getting investment advice. And really, who would follow the investment advice and buy stock as the result of an email. Is anyone really that stupid?

Evidently, someone in Ireland has accessed my Paypal account and is spending millions. More power to them, since I don't have millions. I've been banned from eBay, evidently, for not updating my account information, and a few dozen banks are withholding money I don't know I have in accounts I don't know I have. Of course, I could have access to millions if only I could get ahold of that guy in Nigeria.

My Norton Anti-Spam faithfully tries to learn to scoop the scum off the email bucket, but somehow, they spammers come up with new and ingenious ways to make you look, in the event you might miss an all important email. And, usually, there is one or two emails that end up as spam that wasn't. So, in the end, you end up scanning over all the spam yourself anyway. Ah, well, on slow email days, at least you feel wanted.