Try Again

My dh didn't get it. I sent him the following email that a friend had shared with me:

The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his very life into his own hands!

This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, or significant other!!

DANGEROUS: What's for dinner?
SAFER: Can I help you with dinner?
SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: Are you wearing that?
SAFER: Gee, you look good in brown.
SAFEST: WOW! Look at you!
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about?
SAFER: What did I do wrong?
SAFEST: Here's fifty dollars.
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?
SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left.
SAFEST: Can I get you a glass of wine with that?
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: What did you do all day?
SAFER: I hope you didn't overdo it today.
SAFEST: I've always loved you in that robe!
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some more chocolate.

He responded by email: "I can relate to this one...."

Okay, that's in the DANGEROUS category. I called him on his cell. The answer is either a.) This doesn't sound like you at all, dear or b.) what kind of chocolate would you like for me to bring home?

By evening, he'd caught on and found three truffle chocolates that he'd put in the freezer after they were somewhat melted by the car heater. Hey, I'm not picky - chocolate is chocolate - and the monster was soothed.